what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
