similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Alive.
So much puke
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
