he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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