do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
