go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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