he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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