Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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