The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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