remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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