i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
