just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
