also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
