yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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