where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I want to fling myself into the sun
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
