Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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