I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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