I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
