we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
