I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
wow bdsm is so cute
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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