he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
