it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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