i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
