Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
