Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
