butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
