Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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