i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Let's paint friendship bongs
Blood and glitter go together right?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
