the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
