I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
