I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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