I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
