you guys were way drunker than both of me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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