Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
