So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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