she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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