And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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