you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
