I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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