I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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