He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
