Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
