it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
