What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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