you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
