I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Even my vagina gasped.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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