I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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