Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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