I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
