Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
