i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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