i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
