Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
