Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
