I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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