And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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