I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
