Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
