Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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