he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
