she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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