remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
