Sponge bath it is.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
