he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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