They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
