also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
