Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
