Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize